Wife of Lousypirate

Discussion in 'Family Matters' started by lousypirate, Jan 3, 2018.

  1. lousypirate

    lousypirate Active Forum Member

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    Not sure how many of you are of the religious type, but my wife lost her only grandma about a week before Christmas. Made it a very emotional period for the whole family, both her mom and dad's side, as they were all neighbors growing up.

    Well, it sounds like her grandpa isn't going to make it through the night. He went in to the hospital a few days ago with a bad case of influenza A, and has now been diagnosed with pneumonia on top of that. He is very resistant to the breathing aid and isn't cooperating. Got the call from her mom tonight that he isn't expected to make it until morning.

    So, if you guys are the religious type or not, please send prayers of peace or at least positive energy towards the mitten. Been a very hard roller coaster the last few weeks.
     
  2. PongQ

    PongQ Well-Known Forum Member

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    That's rough. I am far from religious, but your family has my sympathy. My father-in-law died suddenly a couple of months ago and it is a tough experience to go through. My best to you and your wife.

    If you don't mind, I will inject a public service announcement here. If you have older family members, take the time to have that hard-to-talk-about "death conversation". My father is 91 and I've discussed end-of-life wishes and funeral preferences with him. You will feel better when the time comes to make decisions if you know what that person wants instead of wondering what they might have wanted. And follow up over time because what they wanted when they were 80 might not be the same ten years later; I've revisited this topic with my dad a few times over the years. And don't put it off; your parents are probably not going to initiate the conversation. End of PSA.
     
  3. Tyknighter

    Tyknighter Well-Known Forum Member

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    I am sorry for your loss of a loved one, may your family have peace and good fortune.
     
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  4. lousypirate

    lousypirate Active Forum Member

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    Although my parents are only 55, I asked them about 5 years ago. My mom is very understanding of it, but my dad just takes it as that I want him to die. Quite a frustrating experience
     
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  5. PongQ

    PongQ Well-Known Forum Member

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    You can't make them like it. My mom refused to discuss it for the same reason as your dad; she died of a sudden heart attack at 75. We did our best to piece together what we thought she wanted from bits and pieces of conversations. I don't think my dad likes having the conversation (who does?), but he is glad once it is done that I know what he wants.

    We the middle aged still like to believe we are immortal like teenagers, but with a few more trips to the bathroom. Coming to grips with the fact that you are on the downhill slope is not easy. "Do not go gentle into that good night..." and all that. Ask your mom if they have discussed end-of-life issues. If they have, you are good; someone knows and no rule says it has to be you.

    If your parents haven't even discussed it between themselves, perhaps start talking to your dad next time with what you want. Telling him what you want - and why -may put him more at ease knowing you have thought about this for yourself. Maybe even leave it at that and ask him to think about it and he can tell you his thoughts some other time.
     
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  6. Wolfman

    Wolfman Well-Known Forum Member

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    Sorry to hear that, Lousy. I'll be sending some positive energy your way. Let me know if there's anything else I can do.
     
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  7. lousypirate

    lousypirate Active Forum Member

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    Got told he’s doing a little better this morning, but far from out of it. I guess he is very confused because people are wearing masks to see him because of the flu and he isn’t recognizing people even when they take their masks off. Breathing was very short last night, almost gasping for air, but it’s improved slightly from last night
     
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  8. PongQ

    PongQ Well-Known Forum Member

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    A little better is good news. Hopefully, that trend continues.
     
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  9. Significant Otter

    Significant Otter Active Forum Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about your family's loss, and the difficult time your grandfather-in-law going through right now. I'm keeping him and your family in my thoughts and wish you strength in this time.
     
  10. tylerhooot

    tylerhooot New Forum Member

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    I am so sorry to hear that lousy i will keep you all in my heart.
     
  11. lousypirate

    lousypirate Active Forum Member

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    Heard this morning that he finally started eating again. Still has a lot of fluid in his lungs, and still on oxygen to aid in breathing, guess the nosepiece agrees with him a lot more than the whole mouth deal.

    Thanks for the thoughts guys
     
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  12. pach

    pach Well-Known Forum Member

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  13. lousypirate

    lousypirate Active Forum Member

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    Finally went back to the nursing home on Friday, but they put him in the hospice ward. In-laws stopped over on saturday, MIL still doesn't think he'll make it through the year...

    My maternal grandfather went to the ER last week too, and ended up getting a spontaneous gall bladder removal. 2018 is shaping up to be a roller coaster of a year, and I'm only 2 weeks in
     
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